I am a foreigner, sojourning in a foreign country that I have idealised since young, hoping to not only find freedom, but also free will respected and given space for pursuit of dreams. In the pursuit of dream, I have found much about self and what I am defined by. Yet even in that journey, I have discovered much about the self-centred pursuit that left me hanging by the thread of self-righteousness that, in turn, is a mediocre piece of amateur art, of which indies claimed to be a 'great' art that has little value in wider exposure.
In that pursuit, I found myself misunderstanding the great ideals that forefathers of faith and justice have strongly endowed, and even to the point of risking their lives in fighting for the ideals. When young, I felt ashamed for these ideals because of the sacrifice of their lives given to believe in 'A Better Tomorrow'. Even in the teaching of my faith, reading on the fact that I must lose this life in order to gain an eternal life sounds too detached from the worldly philosophy, 'Seek thy will above all, ye brethens of the 21st century. Let not the benefit of ideals prostrated you to lose. With all mights, hold onto your life, even in the face of adversities against these ideals, for you will not have a safe and comfortable journey'.
Yet, at the back of my head each night as I sleep, I wonder if life is worth living just because I live. Somehow, the perspective that I matters more than the rest of the people in the world seems so ridiculous. It was a painful ordeal each day to think as well - especially when you thought that you are the most important person in your company (of which you think you own the company), only to find out that there are better people outside in the same industry that proved your worth is no more than a fly's honor.
That's pretty saddening, and it took events like this to slowly mold me to learn the simple meaning of 'Letting Go'.
In such instances, I was deeply reminded by the forefathers of my faith, who in the name of social justice, fought for the rights of equality of humanity across races and nationality, and deeply reminded of the justice to serve those who violates. Ironically, I used to step on the sides of morally questionable decisions - and realising to my horror the deep embedded resentments these victims have towards the decisions made, just because I want to get rid of them as liable commodities.
The recent hypes in Malaysia Election on 5th May perhaps may have abound to this sentiments I have, and perhaps, for the first time, I decide, that enough corruption and enough selfish pursuit of comfortability. This may have been the right time to start all over again, as a common citizen, living on equal ground of rights as the rest of the people, without forcing pursuit of happiness and ideals, and live as commoners with the rest for the sake of harmony.
This is a statement of a child of a politician in my home country, of which I have thrown all the benefits to become an online activist. Signing out.
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(Created from a fictional character in my head for a few weeks, in reflecting about a third-person-role of a son of a fame politician back in my country. This dream has been with me for a while, and therefore I thought about writing it down as a form of self-expression.)
In addition, I have written an article about what I believe in Facebook page.
I am not sure if you are able to read my profile, so I hereby attach the link:
https://www.facebook.com/ren.kang.1?ref=tn_tnmn
You can add me in Facebook too if you wish so. God blesses you and thanks for reading.
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