In life, we may have hold onto things that is not supposed to be there - and we thought those were the only hope that is meant for us.
But as we grew older, and start experiencing things on varying degree, we found out how our old sentiments for certain belonging becomes strangely small and unnecessary.
And it took simple steps of understanding yourself to get to that chapter in life.
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I believe that everyone of us have something that we hold on for so long that we never felt free to let them go. Some things are good, some are bad inherently. But in view with long-term perspective we realized that even the best in life cannot hold on forever.
I was watching 'The Fighter' and I am amazed of the transformation a person can get when he gets out of his addiction in drugs and weeds. From a person in need of crack to a person in deed of fighting for life - the transformation cannot be attributed unless the acknowledgment of something higher than us. A spiritual perspective perhaps shine some light on this transformation.
Dick Eklund has a passion for his brother, Mick Ward, to be the welterweight champion. He trained him despite his inability to concentrate (during his 'high-on-drugs' era) and he kept pushing Mick to the extend of nearly killing him. Unbeknownst to Mick, Dick did this in an act of redeeming himselff. Unfortunately as well, his succumb towards drug couldn't get him on track to redeem his reputation once as 'Lowell's pride and joy; - used to be a middleweight champion.
An experience in prison after committing crime in order to sustain both his crack addiction and Mick's plea to fight on fair account brought to him some sense. However, it was the show on HBO that woke him up to realize the depths of addiction. A memorable scene in which the interviewer asked why Dick took drug brought Dick himself, who was watching it not knowing that the show was actually condemning the use of drug.
"Why do you take crack?" The interviewer behind the scene asked.
"'Cause you know, sometimes when you inhale those energy, you suddenly felt light and much fun. You felt free - even thought it is for a moment. Then when the moment ended, you just feel like taking it again."
The sadness overcome during that moment captured on screen, in front of every viewer at home (including Mick and his mother who were equally overwhelmed by the depths of sadness portrayed) - that screen prompted an act of transformation.
The movie didn't depict the dramas of transforming, but it did chronicled the struggles that Dick had during his imprisonment. His hurt and pain, and sensing a need for a higher power was thematic although not 'in-the-face'.
Towards the end of the movie, the direction is made apparent that it was this transformation that bound the family together, especially when the welcoming was at its most improper moment. Mick was apparently trying to get his brother (Dick) to understand that he didn't want his brother to be the trainer anymore, was actually half-hearted. Despite the lack of discipline in Dick, he acknowledged that much of Mick's success was due to Dick's planning and instructions.
In a showdown when Mick had the chance to spar with Dick, Mick let it all out and start punching Dick hard enough. Their mom, who were obviously sad to see Mick being violent despite towards his brother, asked. Mick, with all the emotions that was resented towards his inability to rise up above occasion, started lamenting (after all these years, imagine) the frustration that he is the shadow of Dick, who used to be the pride of Lowell. His mom suddenly saw a perspective in him that she had never thought about, and really feel sorry that they had inadvertently used him to fulfill the dream that they wish to achieve in Dick - a pride for Lowell.
Dick realized the mistakes of how he has treated Mick, and decided for once too, to allow his testimony (despite his bad journey) to show Mick the way to winning.
"You know, Mick, I had the chance, but I blew it. But you are different. You have it, and you should give it all. This is your fight. Let out all the shits that we have gone through for years, and put them on this ring. Don't be like me.
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One of the lesson that I have learnt through years is the power of letting go. When I was younger, letting go seems unrealistic, very immature and very weak.
"You shouldn't let go, you should fight on - until your right stays."
Indeed, when we live through this century, we have seen so many human rights fought through resilience and determination. Abolition of slavery, apartheid, freedom fighters, and several prominent amnesty cases are the examples of 'fight for your right.'
Gradually, though I learned to see these events through a very different lens. Perhaps getting more of the history helped enlighten me and give me another perspective that has dumbfounded even the modern ages freedom fighters.
Slaveries was won not with sheer determination, but also with letting go the ideals of fighting for the case. Wilberforce could not fight it head on, so he had to plan and devise a seemingly innocent trade policies that eventually led towards the ugliness of slavery during the 18th century. Apartheid was won not through strength, but letting go of his right and be with the lower class and the defiled - so that the heart of the rejected was wholesomely understood and complete in Sir Mandela's ideologies. In fact after his release, the first he sought was not an even eye with the whites, but an embrace of forgiveness and reconciliation. Freedom fighters fight their right through peace marches and simple instillation of theologies in propaganda. Read up history on Berlin's Wall fall in order to appreciate the power of prayers.
Letting go here is higher than the immediate 'let-go-of-your-right'. It has surpassed the common understanding of giving up. It meant, "letting go of what you believe should be right, and let the unexpected comes and enlighten."
I watched 2 movies recently that pull the theme of 'losers being the winners'. The mother of a child who choose to stick with his abusive husband and wisely evaluate their incapability to bring up a child, in effect 'let go' of their right for the child, because she knew the stake she had to take. The act of wisdom she brought onto actually transformed his husband to seek permanent help on his alcoholic addiction.,
And in 'The Fighter', it was the drug addict who actually transformed the family and strengthened the bond. By 'letting go' of his pride of thinking he used to be the best, he decided that the only way out of his demon is letting go of himself. His transformation, though not dramatic in this movie, exemplifies the act of redemptive that dumbfounded many critics on the used-to-abhor-Dick-Eklund.
Today, when you read stories on this pair of brothers, you don't see the egoistic fight between them. You see loving brothers, despite their extreme differences. One was a joker and always fool around - but always the outspoken one (Dick) and the other being quiet and temperate (Mick) yet always acknowledged his success to his brother's wisdom. But the love of the two brothers don't come easy. It came at a cost of letting go.
And today, I learnt that lesson. To let go and let God.
Amen.
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