Yesterday, a colleague crudely made a joke on me, telling me that I should take a break from all the politics in the workplace, and send me a link. He told me too that I could get relief from there.
I actually entertained myself with that website and lingered a bit. To made matters worse, I dropped a message indicated I am interested.
The whole night, though - my contact with my girlfriend was cut off and thus I was able to linger in this.
However, as the night went on, from lustrous thoughts that pleasure the physical needs - to the lingering guilty trip in my heart that tucked from the Holy Spirit, I struggled (and eventually realized) that my indulgence in giving into my temptation caused me to lead to thus.
This morning, as I woke up, a vision of extrapolating the thought of what would happen if had I really gave in. Many thoughts came into me - but one particular thought hits me hard. God, manifested in His glory, revealed to me that His gift for me, in a form of a person whom he revealed to be my current girlfriend - has become defiled by my actions. Saddened, yes - but a provocation came there after: that my son will defile the family's name in the same footstep, and defame me by sleeping around.
Stories of the descendants of King David come to me during my morning devotion today, and I really felt heart broken. In quick revelation, I flipped through the pages in the Bible to find Psalms 51 in my ESV (Below text from BibleGateway.com)
Create in Me a Clean Heart, O God
To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David, when Nathan the prophet went to him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba.
51 Have mercy on me,[a] O God,
according to your steadfast love;
according to your abundant mercy
blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
and cleanse me from my sin!
3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is ever before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you may be justified in your words
and blameless in your judgment.
5 Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
and in sin did my mother conceive me.
6 Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being,
and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.
7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones that you have broken rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins,
and blot out all my iniquities.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right[b] spirit within me.
11 Cast me not away from your presence,
and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and uphold me with a willing spirit.
13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will return to you.
14 Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God,
O God of my salvation,
and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness.
15 O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
16 For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it;
you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
18 Do good to Zion in your good pleasure;
build up the walls of Jerusalem;
19 then will you delight in right sacrifices,
in burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.
------------------------------------------------
I sent a few messages to my accountable brothers in church, and seeking their prayers for forgiveness together with me, and continue to pray for protection against the temptation. To be honest, this area of my life is one that is in constant struggles, and it would be a tremendous test for me. Pray that I will be strengthened to make decision AGAINST lust, step by step - in faithfulness for Christ, who has freed me from the bondage of sin since the death of the cross - so that I don't have to live in bondage of my indulgence but making a choice to put on the new cloak of self-control.
2 comments:
What I have learned to do, which may not work for you, is to use any inkling of a picture, thought, movie or TV scene - anything that has been a stumbling block to me in the past as a trigger, like a gun about to go off in my head. So immediately I turn my head, turn off the TV, whatever is needed and thank the Lord for my freedom to do so. I am much freer now. James says that as soon as we consider the temptation, we tend to give birth to a killing sin which brings forth death - death to our open relationship with God. I do not believe we can do anything to undo our new birth, but each time we give in to sin we create for ourselves a barrier where we want to hide from God...just as Adam and Eve did.Ask yourself: do I really want release from this bondage that Christ has freed me from, or do I secretly want both - Christ and sin? You know that is an anomaly. You are most distant from Him when you make a decision to ignore His will.
Praying."The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise."Amen! ~ Micah 7:18-20. He DELIGHTS in mercy!John 8:36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be FREE INDEED! Romans 13:11-14.(This was very powerful and sobering: "but a provocation came there after: that my son will defile the family's name in the same footstep, and defame me by sleeping around.")
Post a Comment