Several years back, I made the decision to leave a job relevant to my education achievement in pursuit for something meaningful to what I always believe in achieving. When I come to a company relatively new in the industry of professional sound, I was being told of the path of applications for various disciplines in order to get there. In the midst of going through this journey, I met too many setbacks to describe them within a post. Nevertheless, to look back, I have gained much perspective and decide not to make the same decision to pursue my interest again, and decide to find my path back to security.
I find it difficult though, now that I am at the same crossroad again. Yes, many have commented about my stupendous courage to leave behind a job that has begun to bear fruit in management and resource allocation. Some good ol' colleagues, to whom I felt great affinity to, happened to change their attitudes towards me just because of my recent promotion. I felt like the wild booming flower in a huge jungle at times.
In addition, the scope of work given to me doesn't seem to justify anymore the interest that I used to pursue. The more I tried to force my agenda to it, the more lethargic I am, and in the end, the more value I sacrificed, in the name of interest. Which I now realized I am actually blinded by the pursuit of the dream. In the end, I didn't achieve much of it. The dream, anyway, is half-baked. To be the best sound engineer in the company, which theoretically, is not actually a sound engineer. It is an application engineer who happened to be familiar with sound installation from the surface level.
Now that I have already served 3 months of my notice, many thoughts came in. The biggest in question is actually the job application. So far, I have only gotten one that told me that they want me but negotiating on price package. The manager who interviewed me has warned me of the possibility of salary reduction to almost $1000 as I am considered new in this trade. The other consideration would be that this is a line extremely stream-lined in audio (Harman distributor in Singapore - Mahajak SKM). A cross-border company that has a lot of history of professional audio distribution. My role is mainly pre-sales and advisory to post-sales. Lots of consideration as well on workload, though my manager has told me that it is definitely way better than when I am in my present company (several weekends burned, almost 80% for the previous 2 years).
I grew accustomed into thinking as we move to other companies, we tend to also grow in convenience and money security, since this is indoctrinated by secular culture. I was also conflicted by the interest to pursue this interest in sound more - yet at a salary package that is lower than expected.
While in the shower, I gather a lot of thoughts about life and what I have been doing, and one prominent thought came to me. As my salary increased, my sense towards life for what matters most tend to nullify, and my fleshly desire were strongly tempted. Like David enticed by Bathsheba in voyeuristic endeavors, I had my fair shares of indulgence and getting away thinking that I can earn it back easily. In that chain of thought, I count this job as a good starting point of humility. A pursuit in interest, along with a starting point to humility.
I do hope that when the call comes next week to discuss about the package, the money becomes the secondary concern. The main concern I would imagine is the consistency of character to uplift the spirit of Christ-likeness in the market place.
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