Prayer:
1) I have been thinking very hard about my spiritual health, and it is not in a very healthy state. I have understood the meaning of besetting sins, and I kept wandering around them without the willpower to stop myself being indulging in them. So unless in that nick of time I could see the severity of how deep the graveness of sins bringing me towards, I will easily be tempted to follow suit. So pray that as I learn to pick up the pieces along with my mentor and my cell group leader, pray that I can also start revealing the heart my insecurities that allowed me to indulge in senseless desire.
2) Work has been slightly kind, and I thank God for the mercy and grace of the people around me despite my health concerns. Recent cardiac arrest also slowed the pace of my management, and they have been less demanding. Though I have reservations, I know that eventually I don't serve just the humans because of their superiority. I serve because God first showed His examples on us, and to take up the cross daily and remembered that I don't live for myself anymore - but for Him who has first saved us. So the welfare of the company would also have to be taken into consideration and I should learn to live in accountability with people who are judging my performance.
3) Relationship is not all highs and lows, but at times it could get a bit difficult. She has been encouraging me to do Bible study together, but I know my temptation to like to physically touch her and leading her to somewhere wrong. I mentioned this to my mentor and my cell group, and they have forewarned me about not leaving the door locked. However, I know that such advices may not mean well and much and my inner strength is weaker. So I need to learn to meet lesser, yet be more focus in sharing. My own strength to resist is weak, and I need to talk it out to a fellow sister to encourage accountability for her, but we have to find time. I pray that the time that I would get to spend with my girlfriend this Friday would be something related to be able to talk about these, keeping boundaries yet still showering the love for each other.
4) I thought about the purpose I have in Christ, and yet in searching for an identity I don't seem to understand beyond the gift in music. It seemed awkward in my current position as I don't see any opportunity knocking on for a change. However, if my current job is being positioned by the calling of Christ, then I pray that God can reveal Himself more so as to know if this is the vocation that He has given for me. As of now, I felt that I am going along with the flow for too long that I don't know how to handle my own self at times. Pray that God will reveal in my heart His desire, so that I could live for God the way He wanted. Now it seems like I am living the way I think God might want, but I am not too sure if that's the right way of thinking.
Pray that I am humbled as prayers be cultivated as well. Pray that a group of accountable people can help to sit in together and keep encouraging one another to live for Christ. In Jesus' name we pray, Amen.
